Years later.

Ever since I turned 30s, somehow my life goal has changed significantly. Especially since this pandemic. I used to have dreams like working in big company until retired. Or may be having my own company. Be a leader or someone important. It’s just like usual dreams or goal. Something that everyone aims.

But it changed a lot. All I think about now is just how to be happy. How to feel content. About doing what I love. To live up my passion. And how to help communities by doing what I love. How to be able to always be close with our loved ones. I used to aim to conquer the world. Now I want to start small. A small happy world for my loved ones and communities around me.

My passion always about meeting people. I think that’s why I love traveling at the first place. And my dream life is not far from that. I’m thinking to live outside Jakarta. A smaller city with slower pace. Having my own Airbnb which provide local guide. To greet my guests in person and serve them wholeheartedly. We’ll exchange our knowledge about culture. Perhaps, some of them could be my new family. Or maybe having them joining 1 day volunteering in local foundation. Or, may be having my own foundation as well? You see, this life goal is always about people.

I’m also thinking to go to school again. Or maybe taking some courses. I used to think to take master degree to support my career. But, right now, I want to take master degree to support my life. Being committed to learn something deeper that is aligned with my passion, which I can implement it daily into my community.

Most importantly, I want life that is fully connected. With my families or best friends. With people around. And I’m talking about connected in person. To always think and care about each other. To reach out and able to be reached out. To always be there when needed. Because, what are we without them? What can we do without our support system? We could be as important as a CEO, or busy chasing other dreams. Still, we need to come home at the end of the day. So yeah, If you ask me about my goals for the future, I want to be “home” for my loved ones.

Day in the life (of a single and happy person).

Imagine you woke up in the morning feeling fresh as the result of a good enough sleep. Or a bit dizzy, because you were awake until late finishing those exciting and engaging novel or TV series.

You checked on your phone, open your social media, laughed on some silly animal video, replying your friends comment of your previous IG/FB stories or feeds. Then, you drag yourself to bathroom, preparing yourself for works.

Imagine it’s the normal situation. Old one. When we all still went to office, meeting our colleagues in person. You arrived at your office, feeling regret for not having breakfast at home. But you had that colleague who’s always up to any quick breakfast suggestions. You had your breakfast together, gossiping about yesterday’s meeting and preparing your mood for a long day of working.

Then, it’s your usual weekdays office hour situation. Tensed meetings, yet still manage to joke around within (or got additional gossip materials ?). Lunch break with your colleagues (still talking about the gossip you got from the meeting). Or sometimes a nice quick reunions with your old colleagues or school friends over the lunch break. Your mood boosted up as there are so many funny things to laugh about, or burden to be shared. You’re ready for the next working hours.

You finished early that day. Try to race with the traffic hours as you had workout / gym class. Or another fun dinner with friends. Or those happy hour! Or maybe you just too tired and decided to call it a day. You went home, listening to your fav radio or fav soothing playlist. Or made a mental note what kind of dinner you’re gonna have at home (how about that burger joint from Bali that just recently open nearby? hmm…). You had your dinner while continuing that TV series. Probably had a nice conversation with your parents or room mates. You checked on your phones and found a new cafes/gallery/places in town that you haven’t visited. You put it on your weekend plan, telling yourself “this is a great place for a me-time!…..wait, I think the one of the boys/girls ever told me about this place. I’ll invite them as well”. You slept early that day, feeling tired yet exciting for the next weekend that you’re gonna spend with best friends or for a me-time.

Sounds fun right? Did you miss anything?

You woke up checking on social media on your phone, not for waking someone up. You had your lunch/dinner without checking on someone “Have you eaten?”. You were so focus with your work without thinking you need to pick up someone after office. You were so free that you could have dinner with friends, workouts or any after office activities. Or free trying out some new activities on the weekends. You slept anytime you want without have to inform someone. You felt more connected with your family and close friends. You somehow felt content and full. You’re happy and grateful.

Once upon a time…

A memory could bring you a shiver. Either it’s frightening, embarrassing, traumatizing, or exciting. Memory could bring you to a sudden cold feet. It could also strengthen you somehow. Sometimes, I have a conversation with myself just for a self reminder. You know, such as……

“Do you remember on the first time you can ride 2 wheels bike?” You’re so proud of yourself you felt like you could master anything in the world. Don’t stop learning.

“Do you remember that time when your friend approached and complained on something silly you’ve done that could jeopardize your class relationship?” Oh, you were more than silly back then. Don’t let the emotion cloud your decision too much.

“Do you remember when you won that Futsal championship as a captain?” You can be a good leader. Don’t underestimate yourself.

“Do you remember when that Airport guy told you that your luggage was still left behind in Singapore when you’ve just arrived in Amsterdam?” You survived back then. In fact, you were so creative on surviving. And most importantly, you kept calm and just laughed on the situation. Don’t stop surprising yourself.

“Do you remember your first heartbreak ?” Oh, you cried a lot. More than it should be. It feels like you can’t trust anyone. But then you pray and pray and try again. You finally found the one even after several heartbreaks. Don’t ever give up.

“Do you remember when you finally step out of your comfort zone?” You were so brave. Don’t stop believing in yourself.

“Do you remember the first time your parents told you that your granddad passed away?” It traumatized you. It was your first deep sadness. Even before 5 years old, you already understood the meaning of love and family. Keep that in mind, will you?

“Do you remember your feeling every time you’re surrounded by your close ones?” You feel blessed. Grateful. You feel content. Just, don’t forget about it, will you?

A memory. A kind reminder.

When your life turns too fast….

Hidup pasti berubah. Cepat atau lambat, dalam keadaan yang lebih baik atau lebih buruk, menjadi yang terduga atau tidak, yang jelas pasti akan berubah. Dan itu semua perlahan akan merubah orang yang menjalani hidup itu.

Saya yakin, banyak orang yang pernah mengalami perubahan hidup yang begitu cepat. Biasanya tiba-tiba berubah drastis. Ntah mendadak kaya, mendadak miskin, mendadak sakit parah, mendadak dapat warisan dari orang yang gak dikenal, mendadak jadi istri orang (eh, yg ini ko macam habis hangover) atau segala dadakan lainnya. Tapi yang mau saya ceritakan kali ini (setelah 6 bln meninggalkan blog) benar-benar perubahan hidup saya yang bertahap, tapi segalanya sungguh sangat cepat.

Tepat setahun yang lalu di tanggal ini, saya baru saja menyelesaikan penelitian saya di Bogasari. Seharusnya sayamenggunakan waktu-waktu setelah itu untuk rajin berinteraksi dengan pembimbing, mengejar ketertinggalan saya dalam mengerjakan Tugas Akhir sementara sudah banyak teman-teman saya yang maju sidang akhir dan akan wisuda oktober 2010. Tapi saya justru tidak peduli. Ntah mengapa saya waktu itu cenderung masa bodoh dengan Tugas Akhir saya. Saya anggap itu sesuatu yang menghalangi saya untuk melakukan apa yang saya mau. Saya pun kesana-kemari, mencoba ini-itu, leha-leha, main-main, bimbingan pun dilakukan hanya sebulan sekali,dan pada bulan Desember, bab 1-3 gak berkembang sejak pertama kali saya tuliskan di bulan Agustus. Tapi entah mengapa, saya puas dengan apa yang saya dapatkan pada masa-masa itu. Pengalaman-pengalaman yang nggak akan saya dapatkan kalau saya serius mengerjakan TA, cepat sidang, dan mungkin segera bekerja. I’m so grateful about what i had that time, even though it was one of my darkest time (maaf gak bisa cerita terlalu detil ttg ini).

Memasuki tahun 2011, saya mulai kenyang dengan pengalaman-pengalam bodoh yang saya lakukan bulan-bulan sebelumnya. April di depan mata, Yo. Itu yang selalu kepikiran di otak saya saat itu. Kepikirannya sih, dari januari. Realisasinya? Februari. Waktu deadline? Maret. Tiba-tiba saja hidup saya berubah dengan sendirinya, dengan kesadaran sendiri (yg harusnya mungkin muncul sejak bulan-bulan sebelumnya). Siklus hidup berubah. Tidur saat Subuh, Bangun saat Zuhur, Bimbingan saat Ashar, les jerman saat Maghrib, dan mulai bekerja lagi saat Isya. Sarapan jam 12, makan siang jam 16, makan malam jam 22. Bergeser, berputar, acak-adut. TA pun selesai dalam waktu kurang dari 3 minggu. itu pun saya juga heran, kenapa pembimbing percaya saja saya maju untuk sidang. Dan 9 Maret, saya dapat gelar Sarjana Teknik saya.

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