The perks of being the only child

Day 11 of 30 days writing challenge’s topic is talk about siblings. The thing is, I’m the only child. I don’t have any siblings. So, should i write…..nothing?

Haha, kidding! Let me tell you, the perks of being the only child.

Some people always thought it’s great being the only child. Every time they found out that I’m the only child, it’s always “wow, that’d must be fun!” and never “ooh, that’s must be lonely!”. Well, is it?

Actually, Your parents could be (a bit) overprotective. I told you once I could only join the field trip during my high school if, and only if, my mom join the trip as well. I didn’t join my middle school field trip because my parents were too worry that I needed to spend every nights on the boat (Live on Boat) in the rural area of East Borneo. My mom gave me permission to ride a bike around the housing or to school when I just reached 8th grade. I could have a boyfriend when I reached 21 years old only. Every day I have to let my mom knows every time I go to office and go back home. My curfew never changed even though I’m married now; 9pm is always considered super late night. And to add it up, you don’t have any siblings to share the burden. Still think it’s fun ?

IT IS fun being the only child. You own all of the toys. Fight over PlayStation’s joystick? Huh, What kind of activity is that? Envy over your siblings clothes? Please…you want to try mine? All of the attention is yours. You’ll get the best toy, best clothes, best phone, best gadget, best educations, and best experiences. Not only that, You’ll spend a lot of quality time with your parents. You travel together, make fun to each other, and most importantly, have a nice bonding only just the three of you. You learn a lot about being an adult, because you always tag a long to your parents. You feel like it’s easier to open and share your burden to your parents, because it’s only just the three of you. It’s fun, sweet, warm and full of happiness.

There’s a stereotype that being the only child, we will be spoilt. No no no, I’m far from that. My parents let me to choose everything in my life. Which college to go, which company to join, and which man to be married with. As long as it’s a positive activities, they’ll always support me. They let me to have language courses (so far, English, Deutsch and Japanese). They’re okay with me playing futsal, though in Indonesia futsal is still considered as man thing. My mom always let me (if not to push) to do house chores and learn on how to cook. When my school grade was getting worse, I got scolded and grounded. My parents will give and do the best for me. Well, it’s kinda hard to see it that way when you were still kids, but, again, I am who I am because of them. And I think being the only child really is a blessing in disguise for me 🙂

Kuping Gajah

Have you ever thought about having a lifetime bestfriends? Some bestfriends you have since you were born until today. Or do you have ones? Well, I’m blessed to have, not only 1, but also 7 bestfriends! We were born on 1987-1988, and our friendship practically started since then.

So, Imagine you were born in a small town. Quite remote. Your parents worked at an oil & gas company that has its own housing, complete with our own K-12 schools, sports (any kind of it, you name it) facilities, house of worships and airports (yes, you read it right. our very own airport). Every day, we the kids went to or off school by bus, bikes, walk or dropped by our parents. Mostly by the school bus, though. At school (it was literally and figuratively an old school), in 4th – 12th grade, we were classified based on ranked. So, let’s say, there were 7 class for 4th grader. Class A is for the children who’s in rank 1-30, B is for 31-60, and so on. Now, as I mentioned to you that the school is basically our own school, our classmates won’t change that much. Our close friends won’t change that much.

Now, can you imagine? Everyday we meet the same people. At school, after school activities, or at the school bus. We had local phone lines that allowed us to call each of the house for free. So, yeah, we continued what we talked about at school by phone (sometimes it’s an easy way to work on your homeworks together with your friends). Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that we felt like we’re forced with it. It’s just that….we’re so bonded.

So what it’s Kuping Gajah (Kuping = ear, Gajah = elephant. Elephant ears. We love catching gossip that our ears felt like as big as elephant’s one) on the title above? You know it’s so typical for girls on high school to form a gang, don’t you? Well, it’s basically that. But, instead from hoghschool, each of us actually has bonded our friendship right after we’re born. Or when we were in kindergartens. Or when we were in the 4th grade, at least, since the classification started. Up…until…now. Exactly this second.

One of them only has 1 birthday apart from me. 3 of them shared the same desk with me at class for years. Some of us listened to the same boyband, watched the same anime, had a (silly) crush over the same boy. All of us spent a lot lot lot of nights of stayover at each other house. Now that we’re separated into 5 different cities, there’s no single day spends without us sharing gossips, stories and commentaries in our WhatsApp Group. We allocated some times for video call. We still laughed about the same stupid things we did when we were kids, or talked in the same level of randomness. When any of us visiting each other town, we always spending time together. Our husbands even close to us (they simply have to understand/accept that we’ll arrange some meets up couple of time in a year. Priority. HAHA!).

I’m blessed, indeed, to have them in my life. Our support and love are always there for each other. They’re kind of the first people you’re bump into when you have something to share, when happy, sad, or confused. You know there’s an old saying, “Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in our life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are”. Nothing could describe them better than that ❤

Happiness is…

Everything changes during this pandemic. We’re forced not to have our usual activities outside, not to hang out with our dearest friends, not to hug our parents. We’re getting stressed. Everything seems so biased, confusing and frightening. We’re questioning everything. Including, when will we be happy again? Or even worse, will we have that same old happiness again?

There is an old saying from Latin proverbs, “He is not happy who does not realize his happiness.” One thing I learn from this pandemic is that the happiness is already within us. We just need some times to find and realize it.

I used to think traveling makes me happy. It indeed makes me content. Meeting new people, exploring new places, finding hidden gems, learning about history and culture, tasting local cuisines. I feel like I’m living the life to the fullest every time I go traveling. But, am I happy enough after traveling ?

I always love reading books. It’s my short get away, especially after a long tired day full of meetings and deadlines. A short escape. I always read a book before I go to sleep, after having a nice hot water shower and light dinner. For awhile, I can merge into a whole new world, by only wearing my pajamas. I’m relaxed. But, am I happy enough once I close the book every night?

I love sharing stories. That’s what this blog and my other social media all about. My chat with friends mostly about me sharing my experiences, books I read, or places I visited. I love sharing my learnings, in the hope that it’ll inspire my friends as well. It feels like…..it completes me. But then what? Is it enough to make me happy?

To answer all of those questions above, it’s not to answer it at all. If you feel happy already, why do you have to question it? It’s there. Within yourself. You’ve found it. You just need to realize more of it.

The beat that tells.

Music has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. Grew up with MTV when the TV channel still the real Music Television, I knew most of the latest songs albeit living in a small remote town. Almost all of my girls back in my hometown started their love of music from some boybands. My 4th-6th grade was filled with me fangirling those boybands such as Backstreet Boys, The Moffatts and Nsync (no, I’m not a Westlife and Boyzone fans, sorry!). At 7th grade, I started listening to those pop/alternative/rock band such as The Cranberries, Linkin Park, Coldplay, and Maroon 5. Not to mention my Dad’s love of music influenced me as well. I love Jazz music because of him, I listened to Genesis and one of my fav rock band of all time is Deep Purple as he kept listening to their songs (until now. He even still remember how every guitar sounds or every drum beats in each of the song). I listened to music anytime, anywhere since I was a kid. While studying, working, driving car or in the MRT, reading books, painting, writing or even taking bath (Yes, I even have a Bluetooth speaker in my bathroom now). But, is music just a back sound for me? Or is it something more?

Because of the music, I cried in Coldplay and Backstreet Boys concert. Listening to the music I grew up with, live right in front of me, just gave me chills. Coldplay concert felt like a state of the art, a spiritual event. It’s too much that I didn’t realize there were tears in my eyes. I actually expected that I would cry during BSB concert. I mean, I like them since their first album until now! But I thought I’d cry when they sang “I want it that way”, no idea why I cried on “As long as you love me” instead. I guess I just couldn’t believe I saw them standing there, singing that legendary song, only meters apart from me.

Jazz music always has a special place in my heart. The first time I listened to it, because of my dad, I couldn’t understand any good thing in it. Thanks to my Dad consistency, Jazz music is always here every time I need to relax or get inspired. In fact, we kinda have this family tradition : Java Jazz. Almost every year my parents attend that biggest Jazz festival in Indonesia. I joined them some times. We made a list on which jazz artist we’d like to watch. Some times my mom and I just sit on the floor at the back row while enjoying the music, while my dad busy on taking pictures and listening to the music from the front row. I was kinda hoping I made my Dad proud when I got into the volunteer team of Java Jazz 2010. Just because.

Music is more like a soundtrack in my life. Every track in my life has its own music. When I was winning, when I was so stressed with all of those deadlines and traffic jams, and just like everyone else, when I was brokenhearted. It gives me more power, encouragement, bravery, or just simply a smile over all of those memories. Music is always there when I have to face my sadness, or helps me to be inspired and gets me more concentrating on something. It always accompanies me through thick and thin.

Camera roll…Action!

Because of my dad, I love watching movies. I love being emerge from real life to any kind of world that a movie offered. It’s just like reading book without needing to imagine how the main character looks like and how the ambiances or environment feels like. I even love a deep conversation about movies based on deeper analytic of it. Though sometimes I just let myself dragged along the beautiful moving pictures and engaging character without thinking its cinematography, editing, design, or screenplay.

But, to be honest, and to my surprise as well, when it comes to today’s topic, I have no idea. It appears that I don’t have favorite movies! I have some movies that I really like, but I never made it as my fav. I just think that each of those movies has its own place in my heart and my mind. But anyway, I’d like to share you which kind of movies I enjoy the most.

First of all, as a Disney Freak, I don’t know how or why, all of Disney animated film. Both Disney and Pixar will easily please me. My own appraisement will be biased. My very first cartoon is the recording of Mickey Mouse’s fantasia. I grew up with Toy Story, Bug’s life, Lion King, Pocahontas and Mulan. Until now, there are only a few of Disney’s animated film that didn’t give me chills or without making my eyes (a bit) watery.

I’m that type of person, at the beginning of the year, who makes a to-watch-list. Especially when Academy and Golden Globe already reveal their nomination. I’ll watch every movies that manage to be nominated on best pictures. Also the movies whose best director, actor, actress, editing, score and screenplay nominated. I’ll make my own judgement. Sometimes even make a prediction (which turns out always wrong. HAHA!). I usually makes 2 kind of prediction, the one that I think Academy will choose and the one that I root for. Well, you know this kind of movies. Dunkirk for me still feels like an art installation. I felt like I’m falling in love my self watching Call Me by Your Name. I enjoy every color in La La Land. And the King’s Speech never left my heart ever since. Not to mention some movies such as Schindler’s List, Forrest Gump, Braveheart, and Rain Man. The beauty of their cinematography, strong character with high class performance from its actors, and the screenplay and score that makes me more merging into this alternative life.

There are also some movies that I enjoy so much without thinking about the technic behind. Movies like Harry Potter & Fantastic Beast series, Hunger Games, Marvel Cinematic Universe. Some sitcom or light drama movies as well, such as Catch Me If You Can, Sweet Home Alabama, the Interns, Wicker Park, Serendipity, Jerry Maguire, Sleepless in Seattle, or You’ve Got Mail. Two beautiful drama movies that I think is so underrated is Infinitely Polar Bear (Mark Ruffalo and Zoe Saldana) and 5 to 7 (Anton Yelchin and Bérénice Marlohe). Next time I’ll write about these two movies. Oh, you know what, I Enjoy some horror movies. Just when in needs of releasing stress by screaming out loud. Funny things about me watching horror movies? I laugh out loud instead when the ghosts appear 😀

Any suggestion perhaps, what movies I should put on this “favorite list” ?